Legend
by RavenLilyRose
Summary: The Doctor and his Soulmates. "On Galifrey there was a legend. Or, rather, a collection of legends. One said that Time Lords had two hearts because there would be two people in their lives that they would love more than anything or anyone else, people that they would give anything and everything for."


**Legend**

**A Doctor Who Story**

On Gallifrey, there was a legend. Or, rather, a collection of legends. One said that Time Lords had two hearts because there would be two people in their lives that they would love more than anything or anyone else, people that they would give anything and everything for. Another added that one of those people would be a romantic love, and the other would be platonic, but no less important or valuable. Yet another said that some would have two platonic loves, but never two romantic loves. The term that the legends used for these people was Soulmate.

When he met the Master, or Koschei as he was called at that time, he thought he had found his platonic Soulmate. But when he told his mother this, she gave him the particular look that she had that meant that she knew something that he didn't.

"I don't know, Darling. There is something about that boy that is not all there. I won't tell you to stop loving him, but do try not to get either of your hearts broken, Little One."

That had sparked one of very, very few arguments that he had ever had with his mother that had resulted in more than a few minutes of anger or avoidance. Later, though, when his mother was long gone and the Master had destroyed so many things that the Doctor cared about, he was able to admit that he had given too much of his heart to someone who was not right for him. The Master was not the Brother or Friend that he had thought he was. But he was still a friend, and so the Doctor kept forgiving him– kept trying to save him from himself.

Later, as he kept meeting new companions, he held out hope that each one would be a Soulmate, romantic or platonic was of no import. Each one found a place in his life, and he loved each one, but none of them seemed to simply fit like all of the stories said a Soulmate would.

After the war, after he killed all of his people, he gave up on Soulmates. He told himself that he didn't believe in them anymore, that they were a childish dream, but deep down he knew that he simply didn't believe himself worthy of love anymore. He never let himself admit that to himself, though.

But then Rose Tyler came along. His clever pink and yellow human who looked at the world with wonder in her eyes and compassion in her heart. He kept telling himself that he was not worthy of love or comfort, that he could not taint her with the love of a broken man, but he could not keep himself from reaching for her hand. She just seemed to fit in his life. If he had allowed himself to think of Soulmates he would have remembered the words of his mother about Soulmates and how they fit. But he did not, and he kept on like that for most of a year.

Rose picked up her strays and he scoffed at each one, though secretly each one reminded him of her compassion and he loved her more and told himself again and again that he would not and could not deserve her.

Then Jack Harkness found his way onto the TARDIS and both Rose and the TARDIS seemed to adore him. He was a flirt and would sleep with anything capable of consent, but seemed confused by and wary of any touch or affection that came without intent of seduction. As much as he tried to hate the younger man, he found himself loving him as much as any other companion, and possibly even more with each truly genuine smile that he and Rose managed to coax out of the man who so rarely gave anything other than a flirtatious grin that meant nothing.

He didn't allow himself to show any more affection than holding hands and the occasional hug, though, because both of these humans deserved far more than broken old him. The tension continued to grow, though, and something had to give.

The breaking point came one evening when Jack was telling stories. In Jack's time, there were legends about Time Lords, and that was what Jack had chosen to tell about that night. Even in Jack's time, though, they didn't know the name 'Time Lord,' so Jack didn't know that he was telling stories about the Doctor's race. Jack had found a book in the library of legends and folklore from his time and had taken to reading them a chapter every night and then telling them about everything he knew about the topic.

At first, it was amusing, hearing how details had been twisted or put together in the wrong way to come to strange conclusions. After a while, though, he came to the topic of Soulmates. The topic had been romanticized, with many people writing fiction about it and some even believing that it applied to humans, too. Which… actually was something to think about. They were rather a lot like Time Lords in other ways. But back to the topic.

Jack was telling stories about Time Lords' Soulmates, and for the first time since the Time War, the Doctor thought about Soulmates. He watched as Rose and Jack laughed, smiled slightly, and felt how much he loved them, and how well each seemed to fit in his life. That night while his companions slept, instead of tinkering, he sat in the library and thought.

By the next morning, he was certain that Rose and Jack were his Soulmates. He never did tell them, but from that day on, he was much more affectionate. He would hug each of them randomly, would kiss their foreheads or drop kisses on their hair when he was exceptionally happy or when they needed comfort. He was generally freer with hugs and wouldn't push Jack off when he put his head in the Doctor's lap when they were all on the couch in the library. Both Jack and Rose noticed this, but neither was willing to look a gift horse in the mouth and ask why.

When the Gamestation happened, he still hadn't worked up the courage to kiss Rose on the lips. Afterward, although his new regeneration was much freer with affection, he had also just effectively lost Jack and was just a little more broken and afraid of having it hurt even more when he eventually lost Rose, so he refused to let himself get even more attached than he already was.

Life went on, and he and Rose saved world after world and ran for their lives, still picking up the occasional stray, but he never stopped reaching out with his free hand for someone who was not there, and none of the strays managed to stay long, because both he and Rose were judging them by the standard of Jack, and no one would be able to fill that gap in their lives.

When he lost Rose, he was more broken than ever. He went through life on auto-pilot, barely any better than he was right after the War before meeting Rose. He took Martha on adventures and smiled and laughed, but it never reached his eyes or his hearts. He was a broken man.

Then he saw Jack running toward him, and knew that if he didn't take them away that very second, he would cling to Jack and never let him go. He told himself that he wasn't doing anything wrong, that this wasn't hurting anything, but he couldn't bring himself to actually believe that.

And then Jack was dead on the ground. And then he wasn't. And then Jack was giving him that look, the one that said that he wanted to be furious but couldn't bring himself to be. And then Jack was in his arms and for one tiny fraction of a moment, he thought that everything was going to be perfectly fine. That his life and his hearts wouldn't be shattered into a thousand million tiny pieces. But then life caught up with them and nothing was fine at all.

As the years went by, he lost Jack again, then found Rose and Jack shortly behind her, and then lost them both again. It seemed that the only certainty in his life was that he would lose everyone that he cared about.

Years later, Rory Pond found a book in the library that had been helpfully annotated in three different hands and asked the Doctor about Soulmates.

So the Doctor told him that they were wonderful, that he loved them, that he had lost them but that they were happy, if far beyond his reach. He told him to hold tight to his Amy and not to let her go. Then he handed him a copy of a photo and refused to speak another word. Seeing the tears on the Doctor's face and recognizing that he wanted privacy, Rory left the room and went to find his wife, realizing how much trust the Doctor had just shown by sharing that with him.

And if the Doctor cried for hours, then no one would blame him for it. And if Amy and Rory both went out of their way to make the Doctor smile and laugh, then no one commented on it. And if, hundreds upon hundreds of years later when the Doctor finally died his last death, his last thoughts were of blond hair and tongue-in-teeth smiles and of dark hair and genuine smiles, then no one would begrudge him it.

* * *

I do have ideas for other works in the same universe. Let me know what you think. ~RavenLilyRose

_**19.10.20 ~ Grammar and Spelling**_


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